Dear Common Ground Friends,
I trust I am not alone in dreaming of a world where we share a common humanity and a deep care for one another—where we honor life, protect children, and tend to those most vulnerable among us.
Yet it continues to be heartbreaking to witness violent and destructive patterns that leave immigrant community members afraid to go to work, to take their children to school, or to seek medical care. Those of us who love them are left bearing witness to what feels like a traumatic and moral crisis.
At times, we may feel on the edge—of skillfulness, of patience—with our nervous systems stretched thin. In many moments, we will not be at our best, and neither will the people we love most.
This is perhaps most painful in our closest relationships. When the world feels overwhelming, we often bring our edginess home—to our partners, our children, our dear friends, the people we trust most. When suffering feels unbearable, we may engage in ways that lead to more fear and division, even when we know that’s not what we want.
In his book The Power of Bridging, john a. powell writes, “Bridging invites us to listen for the other person's story and particularly their suffering, but also their aspirations and dreams, recognizing that whatever is the key to the tension between us and the other is never the whole story. We are always more than our worst fears or worst acts. We yearn for our better angels and our best selves.”
So let us practice extending grace to one another, particularly to those dear to us when one or more of us feels the vulnerability of the edge. Grace might look like remembering that irritability is suffering, not malice. It might mean extending a bridge back to the relationship after conflict, or simply pausing a conversation to bring our loved one’s goodness to mind—the person we know they are beneath the stress and strain.
Start where it’s easy, not where it feels impossible, and trust the heart’s capacity to learn. Bridging connects us not only to one another, but to something deeper and wider—to our shared humanity, to the earth, and to our deepest aspirations.
In the days ahead, perhaps you’ll join me in this simple practice. Notice when you are at the edge and gently ask yourself, What might bridge-building look like right now? Perhaps it is listening a little longer, softening the body, or choosing words with our deepest intentions in mind. I’d love to hear how it goes for you.
Peace and Love,
Shelly Graf
Co-Guiding Teacher
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- Have you been directly affected by ICE activity? Need support from the Common Ground Community? Give us a call or send an email and we will try to connect you with help - if needed, we can communicate with an encrypted Signal message upon request. Also, here is a list of Free / Sliding-Scale Therapists for individuals and families who have experienced, witnessed, or been impacted by ICE activity.
- For people looking for ways to volunteer or otherwise support local immigrant families you may wish to visit these websites:
Unidos MN
Defend The 612
Stand with Minnesota - Places to Donate